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It can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. If you're lucky enough to find someone who's attractive and interesting, but insane; or interesting and sane, but ugly; or attractive and sane, but boring; hold on to this person like grim death: they are a rare jewel.

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Even some make out sessions! Many newcomers find themselves loveless or friendless for a time when they first arrive in New York, but they rarely stay that way long.

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Are you relatively new to this fine metropolis? Surely I didn't move to Brooklyn to find a ificant other, but it would be nice.

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Do you know the scoop? But you chose New York, a city so expensive that it drives the sane mad just trying to make rent, tempts the attractive with cronuts until they become morbidly obese, and forces all the interesting people to discuss real estate and careers until they kill everyone with boredom.

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White perhaps put it best: "On any person who desires such queer prizes, New York will bestow the gift of loneliness and the gift of privacy. What should I do? I have met interesting, attractive, not insane people but they all seem to be flakes. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky. Open your heart, and you will find yourself bum rushed by potential suitors.

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Remember: New York rewards those who tolerate imperfections in others, like crooked teeth or a minor felony record. Or keep trying?

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You say you're looking for "Interesting, attractive, not insane people. Get the Gothamist Daily newsletter and don't miss a moment. Why is the dating scene here so rough?

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Perhaps this is possible in a simpler town—Minneapolis, maybe, or Vancouver. By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms. Give up and accept my fate as someone who ogles hot New Yorkers on the subway but goes home alone? Don't be shy about it, everyone was new to New York at one time He is now fielding questions —ask him anything by sending an herebut be advised that Dobkin is "not sure you guys will be able to handle my realness.

The first step is an internal adjustment.

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